Franny (the german), Timbo (the loud american from Tenn.), Bart (Amicable Hollander), and I took a trip to Lake Atitlan this weekend. We went to a small town there called Panajachel.
Guatemala often has two names for it´s cities (like Frisco, or The Armpit of California)The official names often include ...tenango. Like Quetzaltenango. Literally this means town of Quetzals, the national bird of Guatemala. Quetzaltenango is the "scientific" name for the town I am in (Xela). Panajachel also has a second name, affectionately referred to as Gringotenango (you work it out).
This pueblo is a hot spot for visitors. A beautiful lake surrounded by 3 volcanoes. From what I understand it seems that many americans retire here. But I don´t think its the black sock with plaid shorts type of retiree. All I saw were dreads, bongs, and hemp necklaces. This probably explains why the number two export of Gringotenango is weed.
We spent two days in this town where everything is twice the price of xela. Bottle of Water = 7 Quetzals or 1 dollar. In Xela, 3 Quetzals. We swam in the lake, ate pizza (good pizza!), rose early just in time to miss the sunset, took a boat trip to the other side of the lake, swam some more, jumped off a big ol rock into said lake, pee´d my pants after jumping off rock, nearly missed the bus back home, contracted the green apple splatters, had to sit on a crowded bus back home.
Pause.
Let me tell you a little about the bus system here. One time my friend Jake (Jake you can fill in the missing details) asked a group of mexicans why they always cram their trucks full of people. "Because we like to carpool" they said. Well, I´ve learned that Guatemalans (and most hispanics I suppose) learn very early on that the only way to survive a crazy bus driver is to cram the bus so full of people that if there is an accident no one will get hurt because there is no place for anyone to go. (Was that a run-on?) So picture this: Blue-Bird school bus+three people per seat+two people in aisle+some fat kid´s stomache in my face+stopping every ten minutes to cram even more people in the bus=Chicken Bus adventure.
Big PLUS... We had to drive this bus up a curvy mountain road. At every switchback the bus had to stop, back up, and hack it´s way back up the mountain. Everytime this happened, everyone took a collective breath and leaned in to the turn praying to whatever God they believe in that we didn't backslide off the cliff and into the lake.
To finish up, I am now sitting in a cafe safe and sound. The antibiotics have just started to kick in. I feel much better. This first big rain just hit. I better go before we lose power.
Some other random notes:
Don´t ever conjugate the verb poner in the past preterite 1st person around an english speaking woman. Very embarassing.
If you have a friend who is speaking loudly and can only pronounce spanish words in a southern accent, don´t be ashamed to call him a gringo. This seems to soothe the Guatemalans who have to hear their language being bastardized.
I was watching this sketch comedy show last night. I have to describe this one sketch because it is one of the most funny things I have ever seen. Picture this, a man with a fake bald cap, fake bad teeth, fake smokers cough, and giant fake moustache is being interviewed by reporter (the straight man, or woman in this case). This guy is some sort of movie reviewer. The woman asked him about a recent movie he saw. He started describing a movie about a space adventure. On the screen was a bad reenactment of an alien lazering an astronaut (male) in the juevos. The woman chimed in "¡Ay, es Perdidos in Espacia!" (Lost in Space). The man retorted, "¡No! Es Perdi Dos en Espacia!" (He lost two in space). *Laugh, Cry*
Happy Mother´s day, mom and mom-in-law.
Guatemala often has two names for it´s cities (like Frisco, or The Armpit of California)The official names often include ...tenango. Like Quetzaltenango. Literally this means town of Quetzals, the national bird of Guatemala. Quetzaltenango is the "scientific" name for the town I am in (Xela). Panajachel also has a second name, affectionately referred to as Gringotenango (you work it out).
This pueblo is a hot spot for visitors. A beautiful lake surrounded by 3 volcanoes. From what I understand it seems that many americans retire here. But I don´t think its the black sock with plaid shorts type of retiree. All I saw were dreads, bongs, and hemp necklaces. This probably explains why the number two export of Gringotenango is weed.
We spent two days in this town where everything is twice the price of xela. Bottle of Water = 7 Quetzals or 1 dollar. In Xela, 3 Quetzals. We swam in the lake, ate pizza (good pizza!), rose early just in time to miss the sunset, took a boat trip to the other side of the lake, swam some more, jumped off a big ol rock into said lake, pee´d my pants after jumping off rock, nearly missed the bus back home, contracted the green apple splatters, had to sit on a crowded bus back home.
Pause.
Let me tell you a little about the bus system here. One time my friend Jake (Jake you can fill in the missing details) asked a group of mexicans why they always cram their trucks full of people. "Because we like to carpool" they said. Well, I´ve learned that Guatemalans (and most hispanics I suppose) learn very early on that the only way to survive a crazy bus driver is to cram the bus so full of people that if there is an accident no one will get hurt because there is no place for anyone to go. (Was that a run-on?) So picture this: Blue-Bird school bus+three people per seat+two people in aisle+some fat kid´s stomache in my face+stopping every ten minutes to cram even more people in the bus=Chicken Bus adventure.
Big PLUS... We had to drive this bus up a curvy mountain road. At every switchback the bus had to stop, back up, and hack it´s way back up the mountain. Everytime this happened, everyone took a collective breath and leaned in to the turn praying to whatever God they believe in that we didn't backslide off the cliff and into the lake.
To finish up, I am now sitting in a cafe safe and sound. The antibiotics have just started to kick in. I feel much better. This first big rain just hit. I better go before we lose power.
Some other random notes:
Don´t ever conjugate the verb poner in the past preterite 1st person around an english speaking woman. Very embarassing.
If you have a friend who is speaking loudly and can only pronounce spanish words in a southern accent, don´t be ashamed to call him a gringo. This seems to soothe the Guatemalans who have to hear their language being bastardized.
I was watching this sketch comedy show last night. I have to describe this one sketch because it is one of the most funny things I have ever seen. Picture this, a man with a fake bald cap, fake bad teeth, fake smokers cough, and giant fake moustache is being interviewed by reporter (the straight man, or woman in this case). This guy is some sort of movie reviewer. The woman asked him about a recent movie he saw. He started describing a movie about a space adventure. On the screen was a bad reenactment of an alien lazering an astronaut (male) in the juevos. The woman chimed in "¡Ay, es Perdidos in Espacia!" (Lost in Space). The man retorted, "¡No! Es Perdi Dos en Espacia!" (He lost two in space). *Laugh, Cry*
Happy Mother´s day, mom and mom-in-law.
posted by Mateo "El" Barbero at 5:27 PM
3 Comments:
pssh of course you were embarrassed by conjugating the word poner. you are the same guy who was embarrassed when i used the term "erotica" in a serious discussion about literature... i believed you giggled even.
So are you fluent yet?
You are such a puse. Just use the imperfect and move on. Sure, it doesn't make sense, but you have to make sacrifices in the name of decency.
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